I know I know, reading the title y'all gotta be wondering what the fuck???? But bear with me for a moment and i promise y'all will be laughin by the end. I figure after the last hellfire and brimstone post some humor was called for in the form of a funny story so here goes.
I was talking to a buddy of mine that we shall call sly just for the sake of this post (i have yet to get his permission to use his handle in these blogs so.....) the other day. You know one of those conversations about the good ol' days, reminiscing about days when we was younger, the trouble caused and the trouble we got into. In the course of this trip down memory lane we got to talking about when we first started driving and exploring the different aspects of the lifestyle we had chosen to dedicate ourselves to i.e. trucking. Well it turns out that sly, being the twisted bastard he is, was exploring the more shady aspects of the life than yours truly was at the time.Which unfortunately means sex for money. Now some of you may be saying "OH MY GOD, SEX FOR MONEY!!!!" Yes yes the the age old profession of prostitution at one time use to be a, I won't say big, but noticeable part of our industry. I say use to be on account of that the last time a young lady knocked on my door she was selling subscriptions to magazines claiming the proceeds all went to the wounded warrior project. But that is a subject for another blog. Meanwhile back at the ranch, sly was telling me about being in Texas one night and having one of these ladies of the night offer him services. Sly decided what the hell, being single why not try it once. I find out roughly ten years later he figures it was a waste of money, but hey he can say he did it right? This piece of the conversation inspired me to share my own experiences...mind you they don't involve paying for pleasure but maybe they will be entertaining none the less.
The first experience that comes to mind occurred at a truck stop in Oregon. Meself and a couple of buddies was sittin in the parking lot with the c.b.'s on listening to all the bullshit going on around us, just being our fun loving mischievous selves. I'd have to say it was around 10 p.m. local time or there abouts when we heard a low, sultry voice offering services down on another channel. Now being the curious little shit I was at the time i couldn't resist dropping down a couple channels to listen in on the negotiations. BORING!!!! We listened in for a bit and these poor ladies weren't getting any takers. After listening to them bounce back and forth between channels, I felt sorry for them and decided to enter into negotiations. Wait! you say, you've stated these stories don't involve paying for pleasure, wait for it folks just wait for it. I jumped on the radio and told these nice ladies that why yes i was interested in some company for the evening, being away from home and lonely out here on the road, maybe they'd like to come over and we could discuss details and go from there. As is standard procedure in these situations the ladies asked which truck i was in, hee hee hee, I picked a truck at random that i could see within my area of vision. I won't name the company due to the fact it could get me in trouble....but it was a very pretty orange international with a big trailer that looked like a pumpkin. The lady conversing with me on the radio said she would be right over, i told her to bring her friend with her since it was a cold night and i needed some extra warming up. Now since i never got to talk with the driver of this orange truck i can't say exactly what was said when this very petite blond and her red haired friend knocked on this orange truck, but i assume it involved a lot of confusion until the driver, like sly, finally said what the hell. Well about 15 minutes after the driver invited the ladies in, two unmarked police cruisers pulled up and promptly hauled the driver off to jail!!! That's right, the lady and her friend was undercover police officers working the parking lot putting it all on the line....so to speak. Well one would assume after that little fiasco that the entertainment for the night would be over right? WRONG! We sat there for about an hour figuring that it was time to turn in for the night so we could head to our reloads in the morning when, you guessed it, on the radio we hear a low sultry voice come over the radio asking if anybody wanted some "company". Now i ask you folks, how could we resist? This time it was my buddies turn to begin the festivities. We'll call him J.K. for the sake of this post. Same scenario but with a twist JK gets on the radio and says why yes, he'd love some "company", but he would be interested in knowing what his money is buying first. I gotta give these ladies credit, they rolled with the punches quite well. After listening to the nice undercover cop describe herself in what i must say were VERY intimate details, JK scanned the parking lot and picked out the next victim. This didn't work out so well considering the truck we had picked out was a husband and wife team that had pulled in shortly after we had that evening. Problem was, the wife was in the bunk when they pulled in and the husband was the only person visible in the truck. So needless to say after what looked like a very tense awkward moment or two the "ladies" retired to their base of operations, and we very stealth and ninja like snuck out of the parking lot figuring we had best not push our luck by sticking around.
Now let us fast forward a few years...allow me to set the scene. The place is San Antonio TX, the time is late on a Sunday night. Our faithful hero (I know I know its a stretch) is parked for the night after unloading on a job site downtown waiting for a reload in the morning. I was just minding my own business, no seriously!!!, talking to another owner operator that ran for the broker we was using at the time. When this young lady came up to us asking if we was interested in maybe having some fun with her and her friend. We very politely (after all we are gentlemen, sometimes) told her no thank you we wasn't interested and she wished us a good night and moved on to the next truck. We didn't think nothing of it and just continued our conversation. It was probably about an hour after we were approached by the lady when we started to hear a lot of chatter on the c.b. Wondering what was going on we turned up our volumes and listened to a bunch of drivers hollering and laughing about this one truck in the aisle across from us and how hard it was rocking. And yes by god it was rocking good, i mean not the little antennae flicking motion but a full on porn rift, BADDA BING BADDA BOOM, motion of the ocean, flat out getting after it!!!! Now i ask y'all what could i do? Can any of you honestly tell me that you would resist the temptation to jump in on the c.b. and join in on the hazing this poor lonely guy was taking....I didn't think so. After the truck finally stops rocking the door opened up to let out not only the lady who had approached us earlier, but her "friend" also. After lots of horn blowing from the opposing row of trucks and many congratulations on his stamina on the radio, the driver comes across telling all of us "we was just talking". To which i replied "buddy if my wife would talk to me like that, I'd never leave home". To this day i can't figure out what his problem was...personally if it had been me i would have taken a bow but that's just me.
Like i said at the beginning just a couple funny anecdotes from the days gone by. Figured that maybe it would lighten up the mood after the rather serious tone of my last blog. It's been a bit busy in the Gypsy's world lately. But hopefully i can find a balance and give the blog a little more attention in the future. Til next time, take it sleazy y'all and i remain as always
Your humble servant,
The wandering gypsy
